Things Forgotten Are Best Not Remembered
by Laire Ankale
Summary: Or so Severus Snape believed. Hermione Granger must go into hiding, and Snape must be the one to hide her. Takes place 3 years after the defeat of Voldemort. AU and from Snape's POV. Will be HGSS
1. Prologue

Prologue

He couldn't remember what it was like to have someone in his life. To feel the warm caress of fingers across his cheek, the warmth of another body snuggled up against him. It had been over a decade since he had last allowed himself that simple indulgence. But things not remembered were ones never missed.

Or so a one, Severus Snape, believed.

- - -

January dawned bleak and cold, like many before this year's. Not even the wamrest wool robes and cloaks could keep the chill from his bones. But the days still moved in and out, reminding him of waves crashing upon cliffs. At the same time, he could feel the waves slowly chipping away at him, shaping him to their will. The people who came in his life were like boats passing by. The ones who came too close almost always got smashed upon the cliff. Sharp and jagged he was, and it was just the way he liked it.

Severus slowly wound his way up the stairs towards the headmaster's office. His boots made echoing noises up and down the stone hallways. It was still too early for many students to be up, so the sound was only partially muffled by the aged tapestries hung upon the walls. He attempted to warm his hands in two of the many pockets within his black woolen cloak. It hardly helped.

When he reached the stone gargoyle which guarded Albus' office, he barked, "Strawberry sorbet," at it. Immediately jumping aside, the gargoyle granted him entrance. Severus stepped onto the staircase which was winding its own way upwards. Once at the doorway, he knocked upon the strong maple door. The sound reverberated through the small antechamber, so that he could barely make out the call from behind the door.

"Come in!" he heard Albus' voice call. With a grunt, Severus opened the door. He turned around to close it before facing the headmaster. He was smiling at Severus, his blue eyes twinkling in the maddening manner he had. Severus suppressed a groan, because he knew the old codger had nothing good up his sleeve.

"Good morning, Severus. I hope the sun finds you well?" Albus asked.

"As well as it will ever find me," he replied, stiffly sitting down in the armchair across from the desk. Albus merely nodded and poured Severus a mug of coffee, and a cup of tea for himself.

They sat in silence for a few moments, and Severus reveled in the warmth the coffee mug brought his icy hands. He sighed and spout out the question which burned within him.

"What is it you need from me, this time, Albus?" His black eyes gazed up at Albus, a furrow forming when he saw the smile on the older man's face.

"Why is it you think I always need something from you, Severus?" he started. "Can't I just invite you into my office for a cup of coffee?" For all purposes, he did look innocent, but Severus knew better.

"You always give false pretenses," was Severus' only response. Albus chuckled before placing his teacup back onto its saucer with a clink.

"I suppose you are correct, my friend. I do have something to ask of you, although I am afraid you are not going to be pleased with it."

Severus scoffed. "I'm never pleased with what you ask of me." With a sigh, he continued. "What is it, this time?"

"It's been three years since Voldemort was defeated." At that, Severus stifled a snort. "Many of the members of the Order have had to go into hiding, for many reasons, as I am sure you know. Some of the younger ones have come into conflict, and are now forced to hide from their peers whose parents were death eaters."

Severus glared at Albus, knowing where this was going to lead.

"Who?" was all he asked through the intense glare he was giving Albus. Albus merely smiled back.

"Hermione Granger."


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Severus stood in an alley near the train station in Hogsmeade, stifling the cold through a warming charm. His breath came out in wisps, another little reminder of how much he loathed the winter. But more than that, it reminded him that he ought to yell and scream at Albus later. Why the old man couldn't have picked her up, himself, Severus didn't know. Rather, he sent Severus down into Hogsmeade before it was even light outside. During the coldest part of the day.

Gritting his teeth, Severus waited until he heard the distinct cracking sound of someone apparating. He instinctively whipped out his wand while turning to see who was there. A short, hooded figure stood about six feet away, their hooded eyes trained to him. Severus pocketed his wand, while waiting for the figure to say something. Lowering the hood, it was indeed whom he was expecting - Hermione Granger. Her brown eyes were cold, yet fierce, as she looked up at him. She merely gave a curt nod before striding past him, her cloak whipping around him angrily.

All he could do was stare with utter hatred at her retreating form. It wasn't until she started walking into the town before his feet caught up with him. Muttering under his breath, Severus quickly caught up to her with his longer strides. He grasped her by the arm, forcing her to turn around and look at him. Glaring at her for a moment, he willed her to cower under his scowl. But it was only her cold, fierce stare which met his.

"Well, Miss Granger," he started in a silky voice, "I would expect a little _gratitude_ for getting up at such an early hour, in the cold, to merely come pick you up. Since it is blatantly obvious to me that you cannot take care of yourself." Neither his grip on her arm, nor her glare towards him, faltered. If at all possible, both became harder and stronger.

Hermione finally turned her eyes away from him and shrugged out of his grip. Anger seethed through Severus; very rarely had someone had the audacity to not only ignore him, but to simply walk away. Not even Albus had ever done so. Severus forced himself to close his eyes in an almost vain attempt to control his anger. His wand-hand twitching, he started walking and caught up to her, making his pace match hers.

It was then that he heard her speak for the first time.

"You will not treat me as a student, nor will you order me about. I expect to get along with some semblance of civility," her voice whispered through the wind. She continued walking as though she had said nothing. Severus couldn't help but glance over at her.

The sun was now rising, and he could get a good look at her face. It was gaunt and the color was drained, as though she hadn't eaten enough in days. It almost reminded him of how she looked the final week before NEWTs. However, she stood with an arrogance that belied her innocent-seeming nature. Her long, unruly brown hair still stuck out at all ends, and it was waving freely in the wind, giving her an even more wild appearance. Overall, she was simply one of the least appealing people he could remember seeing in a long time.

Except for himself, that was.

They walked in silence, save for the snow crunching underneath their boots, the entire way to the castle. By the time they reached the main entrance, Severus' feet were soaking wet and his warming charm had long since worn off. He hadn't been about to renew it in front of Hermione. He absolutely refused to allow her to see any sign of weakness, even if it was something as childish as using a warming charm.

In the back of his mind, he wondered how she could easily consume the cold and not show any affects, other than the slightly rosy cheeks. Writing it off as biased jealousy, he shook the snow off himself before turning to face her. Hermione's eyes were trained in front of her, almost unmoving. Her arms were crossed, and she was poised to take flight at any second. Severus could easily see the signs of strain on her, and scoffed to himself at how much of a child she truly was. It was no wonder Albus had decided, against Hermione's will, that she ought to go into hiding.

"Follow me," he barked and immediately headed towards the stairs leading down to the dungeons. The only way he knew she was following him was by the sound of her footsteps throughout the halls. The morning air gave an eerie effect to their steps, given the situation. Severus suppressed a shudder and silently chided himself. He had seen more warfare and lived through it than most anyone else. There was no reason to be frightened. Especially in regards to a twenty-two year old witch.

Without glancing back, Severus started walking at a slightly faster pace.

They reached his chambers soon thereafter, and he carefully unwarded the entrance, so that Hermione could see what was needed. She wasn't allowed out of the rooms, but knowing how headstrong she was, he didn't want Albus yelling at him when she got locked out. Then again, Albus would certainly admonish him for not keeping a better eye on her, in the first place.

Entering the sitting room, a wave of warmth as well as relief flooded through Severus. This was the one place he truly felt at ease. He threw off his heavy cloak and placed it on a rack next to the door. He took a side-look to make sure Hermione was inside before turning to shut the door. Turning, he watched her slowly take her own cloak off and place it on a hook next to his. She then stood straight and stared at the fireplace across from the entryway, her arms once again crossed over her chest.

Sighing inwardly, Severus tried his best to not be crude.

"I will show you to your room." She looked at him at that, her lips pressed into a thin line, and nodded. He nodded back and headed towards a door on the right-hand wall. Opening it, he went in and muttered "_lumos._" Light flooded the room, revealing a large four-poster bed covered in a navy blue satin duvet. Matching dark-wooded furniture lined the walls, including an empty bookcase and an armchair.

"You have your own bathroom. It is that door on the left," he said, pointing. She nodded again, avoiding looking directly at him. Severus stood taller, his anger building again. "I will leave you to yourself. If you require anything, summon a house elf. You are not allowed to leave these chambers," he added, before walking out.

He shut the door rather loudly behind him. Suppressing a roar of annoyance, he stomped towards his favorite armchair near the fire, stopping along the way to grab a bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey. He knew that many of his nights from now on would be spent this way. What better time to start than now?

Severus took a swig from the bottle, reveling in the burning sensation which coursed down his throat. Eyes closed, he relaxed for the first time in what seemed ages. It had been so long since he had been forced to share the same living space with someone else, let alone a woman. Sensations which he had long forgotten were threatening to be remembered and reminisced, and that was the last thing he wanted. If he allowed that to happen, all would be lost, and he would fall from the cliff he had so precariously perched himself upon.

- - -

_**Author's Note:**_ A little bit of a delay in updating, I apologize. And not too much happened in this chapter, either. Sorry! It will all be forthcoming, I promise. Just bear with me. I'll be trying very hard to keep up a pace of one chapter per week, if not more than that. And they should be getting longer, as well. So please keep reading, and thank you for doing so!


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The night passed without event.

The next day dawned clear and bright, belying the coldness which seemed to infuse everything. Severus awoke to the small sunbeams which crept in through the window well. He groaned to himself, cursing the fact that he had forgotten to draw the curtains over the small window. He slowly sat up, shaking the sleep from his eyes. He had also drank enough to put a horse to sleep. He was in no mood to be meddled with.

Pulling his dressing robe over himself, he slowly padded his way into the study, which had now become a common room of sorts. He had not, however, expected to see Hermione already seated in one of the plush green armchairs near the fire. Her warm brown eyes lifted to meet his glowering black ones. She didn't say anything, still, but merely returned her eyes to the book which she had evidently been engrossed in before he entered. The only thought Severus could squeeze out was that it was too damn early for this.

Belatedly, he realized that it was still the weekend. He could have slept a little longer. Groaning inwardly, he sat down at a desk and murmured, "_Aguamenti,_" with his wand pointed at a goblet. It quickly filled with water, and he took a long drink from it. The dry feeling in his mouth eased, and he leaned back in the chair. It was very difficult to ignore the presence of Hermione across the room, but if he tried, he found it plausible at the very least.

They sat that way for what seemed an hour. The only sounds which could be heard were the occasional turning of a page which mingled with the crackling of the fireplace. It wasn't until his stomach started growling that Severus decided to broach the subject of breakfast.

"Arlee!" he bellowed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione flinch into her shoulders – a very protective gesture.

"Miss Granger," he started silkily while walking towards her. "Undoubtedly you have not eaten. I am requesting for breakfast to be sent. You may eat whatever you please." His lip curled in slight disgust at the last word. When he turned around, a small, bobbling house elf was turning a tea cozy around in his hands.

"Yes, mister Snape, sir! How may Arlee help?" he squeaked. It was only because of their service that Severus was able to tolerate the house elves which threw themselves at anyone's feet. When he owned his own house, he had absolutely refused to _employ_ the abominations. He would rather do things himself.

"We require breakfast," Severus stated.

"Yes! Arlee will bring it right up! Er.. down!" the house elf replied before grinning madly and popping off to the kitchens. Severus snorted at the obvious attempt at ill humor before walking into his bedroom to change into his daily attire of white undershirt, black frock, pants, and billowing black robes. Feeling much more in character, he went back out into the sitting room.

Only to find Hermione staring into the fireplace, her cheeks glistening with silent tears.

_How do I get myself into these messes? _he asked himself. Raising his head in disdain, he went and sat opposite Hermione before speaking.

"Whatever it is, it is surely childish and will pass," he said condescendingly. Seeing the look of loathing she gave him, he felt smug and continued. "There are tortures in the world you cannot even begin to fathom. Compared to that, your problems are but drops of rain in the ocean." He glowered at her, silently hoping for her to either storm out of the room or at least stop her crying. Rather, an unforeseen storm blew up.

"How _dare_ you accuse me of not knowing the tortures of the world! You have no _idea_what I have suffered through! Between the years of war and those following, I have lost everything dear to me! And to top it off, I have had to be in constant fear the past year! Malfoy and his goons were virtually hunting me and all of Harry's friends. We scattered and had to live in caves in the Black Forest or the Swiss Alps. Even then, we were constantly moving and hardly saw another living human." Hermione took a deep breath, wiping the streaming tears away from her face. Her hardened eyes bore into him. "And on top of everything, Albus has forced me to come live in this shackle he calls 'freedom,' to be with a man who hates and detests me!" She picked up her book, threw it at a stunned Severus, and strode into her bedroom. The book hit him hard in the chest.

Severus couldn't think for several minutes. He was stunned beyond anything. It wasn't until Arlee had come with breakfast and left again that the pent up anger rose to the surface. Storming into her chamber, he began his assault.

"You arrogant child! Do not think you are the only one who has suffered for years!" he roared. Her glittering face looked up in surprise from the bed which she had evidently thrown herself upon. "You will never know the courage others have had to face!"

She sat up, her hair in total disarray. "Maybe I won't! But that does not change this fear and sadness which looms over me. And _you_ are not helping matters!"

Severus spoke in a low growl. "I didn't ask to _babysit_. I didn't ask to be any part of this, any more than you asked to be here! So do not go wallowing around crying, 'poor me!'" He gave Hermione one last look of contempt before leaving the room.

Breakfast lay cold and uneaten at the table. His appetite had left, and he sank down into one of the plush armchairs, cradling his head in his hands. It was too damn early for this. Hell, it would never be _any_ time for this.

The girl was going to drive him absolutely insane. Less than twenty four hours in her presence, and already he was about to throttle her. Who was she to lay claim to fear? To distress? It wasn't Hermione who had been a spy for Albus for years – before and after the first "death" of the dark lord. She had no idea what it was like to be constantly ridiculed in school, to truly have no friends. Perhaps that wasn't quite true. Severus had had a single friend. Lily Evans. And that damn _Potter_ had stolen her from him.

Friendless and empty, Severus had taken out his anger and rage on those who had made fun of him. Being a death eater held its joy, but only for the first year. After that he had greatly regretted his decision and Albus had given him a second chance. Since then, Severus had not allowed another person into his life. It was better to live life willingly alone, then to have everyone dash his hopes.

Hermione had no idea! Growling under his breath, it was all he could do to keep himself from smashing the chamber into pieces. It was all her fault for making him remember those terrible memories. And it was Albus' fault for making him house the damn Gryffindor child!

Suddenly Severus felt a warm sensation on his shoulder. Whipping his head around, he saw Hermione's hand resting there. Trembling with anger, he jumped out of the chair, grabbed her by the shoulders, and rammed her against a wall – all in one smooth motion. He was breathing through his teeth, his hot breath inches from her face. She was staring at him with wide eyes, the emotional pain evident through her physical features.

_She doesn't know anything! _he screamed inside his head.

Severus let go with a final shove. He watched her slump down onto the floor, an unmoving mass save for the sobs he could see which wracked her body. With barely controlled anger, he stormed into his own bedchamber, making sure to lock the door behind him.

How much audacity could one child possess? Her touch still scorched his shoulder, and he couldn't suppress the shudder which ran down his body. Years. It had been years since someone had touched him without malice. And Hermione had done so without a seeming second thought. He cringed.

Albus was surely out his senile mind.

- - -

_**Author's Note: **_Sorry for the extreme delay in updating, as well as the shortness of the chapter. There's been a lot of drama in my life (I almost got kicked out of my living situation...) which caused a major delay. Add that to the fact that I don't have much time to write and... well... yeah.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm slowly writing, and getting the story together. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

An uncomfortable silence had settled between Hermione and Severus. He did not know what she did during the day, while he was off teaching the students, and he honestly did not care.

Later that week, Albus summoned Severus to his office to speak about the girl.

It was all Severus could to do suppress the rage he still felt towards her. As he was walking, his hands were clenched in tight fists, the scowl even more prominent than it usually was. Students fled before the famed potions master as his black robes whipped angrily around. Classes had just gotten out, and everyone was scurrying to their common rooms to relax before dinner. _Relax_. That was a word which was no longer in Severus' vocabulary.

He eventually made his way into the headmaster's office, and hardly waited for a reply before entering and sitting himself down in one of the worn armchairs. Albus was calmly sitting at the desk, stroking Fawkes' sunset plumage. A strange smile was painted on his face.

"Good evening, Severus. I'm glad you could join me for a few minutes," Albus started, the strange smile not leaving. "May I interest you in a hazelnut truffle?" he politely asked, inclining his head towards an ever-present candy bowl upon the desk.

"No," Severus simply stated. He did not want to dally, and simply wanted to get straight to the heart of the matter so as to attend to his own business.

"Pity. They are imported." Albus took one and popped it in his mouth, a glazed look overcoming his face as though he were in paradise. Severus growled at the headmaster, gripping the arms of the chair with his long, calloused fingers.

"Get to the point, Albus. I haven't time for this," Severus spat. Albus merely chuckled, apparently used to this seemingly arbitrary behavior.

"As you wish, my dear friend," the older wizard said through a sigh, a small smile replacing the mischievous one he normally wore. "I mostly wished to inquire how Miss Granger was doing, as well as yourself."

Severus suppressed the biting remarks he wanted to make about the girl. "She is doing as well as can be expected. Her nose is always stuck in a book, she picks at her food, and she sleeps at night, from what I can tell. As for myself, that is none of your concern," he stated. Albus looked at him with concern written in his blue eyes, and he shook his head.

"Severus... you should speak with her. She is a wonderful and extremely intelligent young woman, and I think it would benefit you both to enjoy each other's company."

"You have forgotten to mention how arrogant she is," Severus muttered under his breath. It did not escape the headmaster's attention, however. A bushy eyebrow raised in question, and Severus mentally kicked himself for bringing the topic up. He pressed his lips together to form a thin line and crossed his arms across his chest, indicating that he did not wish to elaborate. Albus chuckled slightly.

"I suppose you had forgotten how stubborn she could be?" the older wizard asked. Severus stared into Albus' steely blue gaze. "Gryffindors are well known for being just as stubborn as a certain Slytherin," he continued.

"I would not call her persistence in petty problems 'stubborn'," Severus spat, not knowing why. The headmaster surely wouldn't side with him. It was anyone's guess as to why Albus had placed Hermione with him, rather than someone who was bound to show her undying amounts of sympathy. Severus had not the time nor the patience to shower anyone with false pity.

Albus inclined his head slightly. "It is true that you have seen more in this world than many, but do not forget that she is much younger than you and has a lower tolerance level for pain." Popping another truffle into his mouth, Albus started speaking lightly again. "I do suppose it is almost time for supper, is it not?"

"Indeed," Severus replied as he got up to exit.

"Oh, and Severus?" the headmaster started as Severus reached the door. He paused without saying anything.

"I'm sure we shan't be seeing you often at meals, anymore?" Albus inquired. Severus gripped the door handle with alarming intensity. He grit his teeth in frustration.

"Correct." He opened the door and almost slammed it on his way out.

_How dare he_, Severus seethed to himself as he tromped through the hallways and stairwells. While anger was not a foreign emotion to him, it was becoming more the norm than even Severus wished it to be. Albus was forcing the girl upon him, almost demanding that he _befriend_ her. The only person whom Severus would even attempt to call a friend would have been the old codger himself.

Only terrible things happened to his friends. He was always left alone, bereft of the comfort which had been love and kindness. Many times it had been his own fault. Regardless, it was something Severus had learned to deal without. He much preferred the loneliness of his cliff to the pain that came in the ever churning sea that was love.

Severus paused to take a deep breath. It had been many years since he had broached the subject of friendship, even from within his mind. Albus was almost omniscient... surely he had good reason from recommending actually spending time in the girl's company. But damn him! With every word that passed from the old man's lips about Hermione, Severus was reminded of those emotions that had been stored away. It wasn't worth the pain of almost drowning again! Too many times had Severus been stranded to die on his own, only to claw upon the lonely island.

_No. I will not face those terrors again_, Severus thought to himself. Steeling himself, he started walking again.

- - -

The chambers were quiet. Too quiet. Hermione's bedroom door was wide open, and a quick look told Severus that she was not within, nor in her bathroom. He closed his eyes in exhausted frustration.

One more problem to add to his list. _Where the hell is she?_ Severus racked his brain for answers it seemed reluctant to give. She was upset. She was hurting. She wanted to get away from the dungeons. Where could she have gone? Severus knew she wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave the castle grounds. She was under his protection, and he knew she wouldn't betray his trust enough to have completely left it. That left one of two places he could think of off the top of his head. The astronomy tower, or a copse of trees near the lake.

For some reason, he voted for the latter. Quickly donning his wool cloak, Severus strode out of his_ (our, _he reminded himself) chambers, making quick work of the long walk outside.

Muttering to himself at how foolhardy the girl was, he easily found her footprints and followed them to the precise spot he had imagined she would be.

The moon was shining brightly over the frozen lake, the newly-fallen snow glistening upon its surface as drops of morning dew on a summer morning. Hermione was sitting upon a boulder, arms loosely wrapped around her knees, head tilted up towards the sky. Her loose brown curls flowed down her back, revealing her pallid face. Severus could clearly see the tear streaks down her cheeks, but couldn't be sure if she, herself, was aware of them.

"Do tell me what has drawn you out of _our_ rooms?" he drawled. She immediately stood up, wand at hand, pointed directly at him. "Perhaps you wished to curse me into oblivion? Or maybe you were hoping to be discovered by Malfoy?" One eyebrow raised in question, he leaned against a tree trunk as if from boredom.

He could see the emotional strain. Rather than the spitfire response he had expected, she merely huffed a breath before sitting back down in much the same position he had found her in. Severus was about to open his mouth to speak again when he heard her voice.

"It seems so long since I've truly breathed in the fresh air," she said, her voice almost drifting on the wind. "It's not the same when you're running in it every day, fighting your way through it via apparation. But to be able to breathe it, to not worry that it will be your last breath... to feel simple joy in the wonders around you..." Severus paused in his response, closing his eyes. She was conveying an emotion he had known only too well during the years of war.

He sensed she was looking at him. Opening his eyes, he stared into her deep brown ones. She smiled very softly at him, and he couldn't bring himself to be angry with her for wanting something he had been craving for years, himself.

"Dinner will be served shortly," he said in a brusque manner. Turning on his heels, he only paused long enough to hear her stand up and follow him.

- - -

_**Author's Note:**_ Well, well! It seems our Severus is starting to find himself in a predicament! How will this all pan out? Hmmmm? You'll just have to wait! Mwahaha!

Ahem. On a more serious note, I apologize for not updating earlier. Damn holidays... XD I am hoping to have more time to write now that socializing and shopping will not be taking up all my lovely Severus/Hermione time! Teehee.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Without you, I am nothing!


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